It’s not how you are inspired, but more importantly what you do with it. When I recall all those who have inspired me, I realize that those became opportunities for me to become a better person.

Today I was thinking back to all those who have been so giving and so thoughtful to Dave and me. I wish that I could thank each and every one of you who has had such a profound affect on us. I have this intense desire to repay all of you for your generosity, but I’d be so afraid that I would leave someone out. Instead, you have inspired me to do for others what you have done for us. When I talk to others here at the hospital who are struggling, I ask who I can pray for. In that moment, I say a prayer for not only the sick person they care for, but the caregiver too. You have been doing that for us all along. And yesterday, I was standing behind a nurse on our floor who was buying coffee for her and two other people. All three are involved with providing care for Dave. I slid my card to the cashier to pay for their coffee and my own. She actually got tears in her eyes, and you can’t imagine how it made me feel to treat these three caregivers.

My mom has always been an incredible caregiver to so many. From as early as I can remember, she cared for four active children, my sick father and also worked full time. Later, she cared for my youngest brother for almost 30 years, who was wheelchair bound since he was 22 years old. She and my step-dad have been caregivers to us and our family, even from thousands of miles away. With absolute certainty, I am sure that my caregiving instincts are inherited from my mom. She inspires me daily.

But truly, this is about how Dave has inspired me in countless ways. There is probably a reason most nursing shift changes come with a story of how nurses want to have Dave as their patient. He has given some of them different names, as most of you know that’s what he does. He’s kind to each and every one of them, never tries to over-work them and inquires about who they are and what they like to do. So it is a real tribute to Dave, when some nurses aren’t assigned to him, that they still stop by to check and see his progress.

Is it the little things he does that inspire me? Maybe it’s how I watch how he treats others, how he loves and cares for so many people, or that he thinks of others before himself. I can’t tell you how many times he has said, “I am so glad that this is happening to me and not to you, or to any of our children, or to any of our friends. “

Maybe it’s the big things he does that inspire me. He is so faith-filled and a God-loving man. We stand united in our journey to seek and to understand our purpose. We have not waivered even through the most difficult times. It just brings us closer to Him and in return to each other. As a man of integrity, he will not back down from his strong convictions of right from wrong, never meaning to offend others, but intending to be steadfast and true to who he is. And, his never lose attitude. If there’s one thing that has inspired me to be a better person, it’s to watch him fight this fight.

So now I ask this question directly to you. How has Dave inspired you? Was it with his words, something he said or maybe what he did? Maybe it was even what he didn’t do. Put your finger on what it was and how it affected you. Hopefully, you have one or two ideas swirling around in your head.

It’s not how you were inspired, but more importantly,

what you now do with it.

I was thinking that this was going to be the easiest post to write, or maybe the most difficult. I was hoping that I would have clever thoughts running through my head — baseball quips if you will — that would weave my thoughts and good news together. I was wondering if this was going to be the time that I would just hand this over to Dave and say, “Here, you write it this time.”

I know that none of that matters now, as this update does not have Dave sliding head first into home. It does not have him clearing the bases, pumping his fists in the air, in “Gibby” form. It is not a walk-off, a grand slam, the game winning RBI.

Last week, Dave’s counts provided doctors with a glimpse of changes happening, but it did not “present” what the issues might be. As we waited and watched for something to occur, he developed a fever on Sunday while he was receiving a blood transfusion. Concerned that is was a reaction to new blood, they halted the transfusion. He was admitted to the hospital when the fever did not subside. Fearing that the high temperature was an effect from the disease returning, the bone marrow biopsy was rescheduled from June 6 to June 3. On Monday, he had his ninth bone marrow biopsy. We anticipated that the results would inform the doctors what their next steps should be.

CAR T-Cell therapy was not a success and the leukemia has returned. The CAR T-Cells are still present and working, but they simply cannot combat this monumental task alone. Another cutting-edge medication, Besponsa, was infused yesterday, in order to avoid a possible pain crisis on our trip back to Michigan. Contrary to what the counts lead us to expect, Dave is in no pain at this moment. Some patients have gone into remission after several doses of this anti-leukemia medication. But like most powerful cancer drugs, it has a lifetime limit, and this drug is restricted to six doses.

What is amazing is that our team of doctors are using two treatments in tandem, CAR T-Cell therapy and Besponsa. Dr. Geoffrey Hill informed us today that, “We feel these two novel agents may have never been teamed together until now.” A hopeless verdict on Tuesday has been overturned and gives us hope that this could be groundbreaking and miraculous.

We have never hidden our faith, hope and trust in God. He is the Great Physician. He is the ultimate healer. He has written our story long ago. And, we believe that miracles do happen. So now we pray that through us, He looks favorably upon us and presents us with a miracle. We ask for complete healing and an end to this horrible disease.

Please join us in that prayer.

It is time for us to come home.

Update:

We will be staying another week in order to receive an additional infusion of Besponsa. Dave’s team of doctors feel confident that after two infusions, he will be ready for the 4 1/2 hour flight home.

The scoreboard reflects a battle of the arms – a good ole fashioned pitcher’s duel. Goose eggs dot the scoreboard and hitters are frustrated, as each pitcher is throwing his best game yet. The runner on second was stranded, as each additional inning stretches this nail-biter.

Dave has had minor side effects, slowly gaining ground, but not able to move forward on the base path. The determination and fortitude has never wavered from either him nor his teammates. In fact, the bench has only become stronger and more supportive.

“It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.” – Babe Ruth

As this game continues through the weekend, Dave is holding nothing back. His counts are showing that the struggle is not over. Whether that means that the CAR T-Cells are working extra innings right now to conquer cancer or the leukemia is still lurking, we are in the wait-and-watch mode.

Inspiration for my blog posts comes quite easily to me from the little things in daily life. You see, inspiration is all around us. You just have to stop and be still sometimes to notice. Often, it’s more obvious than at other times, but occasionally, it is staring you right in the – well – ears.

This morning I could not get a song out of my head. The song just kept continuously looping. Does that happen to you? It happens to me all of the time, especially at night when I’m trying to sleep. Well, this morning I was humming along and kept singing the chorus over and over again because it’s so inspirational. After 30 minutes, I said to myself, “I need a different song in my head. I’m driving me crazy.” I turned on Pandora and saw that the last station I listened to was country, but today I really wanted to continue my morning the way it started – with Christian music. Before hitting the arrow in the top left corner to switch stations, I was stopped in my tracks with the first five chords. And then, I paused to enjoy the moment. The very same song that had been running through my head all morning started to play. I stood still and listened to every lyric of H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line. This may give you chills with the irony of that moment, but it just made me smile in affirmation.  

What a glorious moment to feel such love in such an intense way. I felt that that dedication on Pandora was for me. But it was for you too, because it inspired me to share it with you. Just as I am about to share more wonderful news. Dave’s call early this morning is what initiated the constant melody in my head. It looks like we are right on schedule for Dave to be discharged from the hospital on Wednesday. That was music to my ears.

Our team of doctors is extremely pleased with his progress, and even more encouraged that he has not experienced any intense side effects that could delay progress. Once released from the hospital, we will continue to report to the SCCA for daily monitoring and blood counts. The seven watchful and prayerful days are ending soon if you accepted the prayer challenge. Once released, we hope that you continue to pray for complete healing. With the bone marrow biopsy still scheduled for the 28th day following the infusion, we ask that you be vigilant and keep Dave in your daily prayers.

Just like the song, which moved me to write this update today, you too should be inspired by the outcome of your constant prayers. How can He not be inspired by all of you and what you have done for the Tag Team? 

*Click here to listen to H.O.L.Y. 

* Didn’t work? Go directly to sontagm.wordpress.com and try again.

All along, Dave and I have put our faith, hope and trust in God. Never wavering, we surrendered to Him and have followed what has been written for us long ago. Our relationship with Him has changed on so many levels. And from the beginning of this journey, we have always felt that we were the instrument to bring you closer and stronger in faith too. It’s quite humbling.

As the toughest part of Dave’s treatment starts tomorrow, we know that he will be in the hospital for a minimum of seven days. We invite the entire Tag Team to join us in daily prayer. Choose to commit to seven days of prayer. Choose seven objects and place them in a location where you will see them first thing in the morning. It may be seven Jolly Ranchers, seven Red Vines or seven mints. Starting tomorrow morning, take one and pray from the time in reaches your mouth until the last swallow. Please say one prayer for Dave, and continue to pray for others the rest of the time. There are so many people who need our prayers.

Not sure how to do this? Talk to God. First, thank Him for the many blessings in your life. Second, ask Him to help those who need your prayers. And finally, have a few personal moments with Him. I’m not sure if you will feel a deep sense of purpose, but I know daily prayer gives both Dave and me purpose and strength. And if you miss a day – don’t sweat it. He will be hoping to hear from you the next day. I am sure of that. And, tomorrow morning when I begin my prayer, I will start by thanking God that so many have joined us in our prayer challenge. We would be honored if you would share this with your friends and family. There is such power in prayer. We love you and can’t wait to see you soon.

Throw your hands in the air and shout whatever comes to mind. 

WE GOT THIS…BRING IT ON…LET JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL…KICK CANCER TO THE CURB…NOBODY IS TOUGHER THAN TAG….

We know that hundreds of friends and family members have been impacted by Dave and his fight to win the biggest game of his life. We also know as the fight continues, you have been just as relentless following the blog, praying for a miracle and cheering us on from the sidelines with your incessant comments. 

LET’S GO YOU JOLLY RANCHER…THAT MAN IS AN ABSOLUTE MACHINE AND HE CAN DO THIS…BOOM…LET’S GO YOU COTTONPICKER…LEAD US OFF TAG….

It is now game time. The bone marrow biopsy confirmed that the leukemia is still active, but presents a low burden at 13.9 percent in Dave’s body. This is a great improvement from one month ago when the cancer returned with a vengeance. His CT scan on Thursday also provided a look at the dramatic improvement that his right lung has made with the fungal infection. Further tests performed yesterday provided the research team with everything they needed in order to qualify him again. Yes, it’s now game time.

CHEESE ‘N CRACKERS, GET THIS THING ROLLING…KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT…YOU ARE ONE TOUGH COTTONPICKER…DON’T STOP YOU DOG HEAD….

Today, tomorrow and Monday are chemotherapy days designed to deplete existing T-Cells in order to make room for the newly engineered CAR T-cells. Tuesday is considered a “rest” day, and the only requirement is reporting to the clinic for bloodwork and a final check.

The day that we have been waiting for is Wednesday. Dave will be admitted to The University of Washington Medical Center in the morning. He will receive his CAR T-Cells in the afternoon. He will be in the hospital a minimum of a week and longer if we encounter any complications. Once released, he is monitored closely. On Day 28, he will receive another bone marrow biopsy to determine the success of the entire CAR-T Cell process. Then, we hope to come home for a few weeks to enjoy the beginning of our Michigan summer.   

DEAR CANCER, MEET MY FRIEND JESUS. HE’S TAKING OVER TO WIN THIS GAME.

Tune in on Tuesday for the Tag Team challenge. We hope you choose to participate.

GAME ON FOR N0. 28 

I am going to be completely honest with you at the risk of sounding well -ashamed. I don’t remember learning how to pray as a child. Brought up in a strict Catholic household, I certainly knew right from wrong. And the Catholic grade school provided a weekly mass, where I’m sure the lessons were based on the gospel. I don’t remember those lessons though. And talking with my Grampa Yoas, who will be 105 years old in just a few days, he didn’t remember learning how to pray or even praying as a child. I do remember the nuns had wooden rosaries that chattered at their sides when they walked. It’s a sound I still love today.

I prayed in the dugouts a lot while I was keeping score for Dave. Oh, sometimes my prayers were for warmer weather when I sat there freezing. I remember being unable to feel my toes and thinking why doesn’t someone find a way to heat these dugouts. Playing baseball in the spring in Michigan made it very challenging to love the sport – until about May. I remember mostly praying to God when Ryan was on the mound pitching. I disliked when he pitched. I had typical mom jitters that never went away until the last out. I didn’t pray for Susan to run down that fly ball in center field because I knew she’d arrive in time to camp under the ball and effortlessly make the putout. She was faster than lightening. Just as typical was Brendan deking the runner at first base with his eyes in the air, only to then scoop up a one-hopper and fire a strike to second to start 4-6-3 inning-ending double play. He was one of the smartest infielders we ever had. No, I found myself mostly praying when Ryan pitched. As a talented hitter, I almost took for granted he’d go 3 for 4 or even 4 for 4. But, when he’d pitch, I can still hear myself saying, “Dear Lord, let him wiggle outta this inning today and I will remember to say my rosary tonight.”

I am sure my rudimentary and feeble attempts at praying were heard. Not always answered the way I wanted, but they were always heard. Praying these days is more purposeful and much more often than ever before. In the last few years, I have set my Fitbit timer to remind me to give thanks and pray for those in need at 5:05 p.m. My prayers are always for someone or something that I encountered that day. Soon after we arrived in Seattle, a box was delivered from one of my longest and dearest childhood friends. It contained snacks and gifts to make us chuckle. In addition, the box contained daily devotionals. I have begun to read the devotionals in the morning. The last line in one of the booklets is a prayer that actually gives me something to achieve throughout the day. Through prayer, it sets the purpose of my day for me.

Today I prayed that when we receive the results from SCCA, I am given the strength to move forward with the journey that has been written for Dave and me long before we were born. Today I prayed for continued courage as I stand by his side and do whatever it takes, even though I might not like the way in which my prayer is being answered. And, today I prayed for wisdom and understanding. Maybe this cancer battle is happening for something far bigger than I can understand right now. But Lord, give me the wisdom to know and accept that all things happen in Your name. You are the only one who can answer my prayer for complete healing. Amen.