I had a déjà vu moment this weekend that brought me back to a childhood memory. Walking outside, my nose felt the nip of a chilly day but I was embraced by a warm breeze. The crunching of leaves under foot and the smoke from a nearby fire clearly spoke a fall day. The sound of a leaf blower and the smell of burning leaves confirmed that summer has ended, and fall cleaning is in full swing. It took me back to a time when, as a kid, we would have to rake the yard, put away the summer chairs and cover the pool. I found myself smiling with the memory of it all, and to think that a warm breeze and crunchy leaves took me to that place.

Dave took a trip down memory lane, too, but it did not bring a smile to his face. In fact, he was begging me not to take him on this trip. He spiked a fever Friday night, and with a trained watchful eye (more like a mom’s instinct), we headed to Karmanos. He was not pleased with me as we sat in the E.R. for five hours while they did the full work up. But in the end, diagnosed with a UTI and also in need of two blood transfusions, he was admitted. As of Sunday, we are still here as they complete fall cleanup on Dave. As the doctor on rotation has said several times now, this is not unusual for a BMT patient to need a tune-up.

We hope to be back home either Monday or Tuesday so we can rake leaves and think about taking the boats out. We have our own fall clean-up to address.

There have been times in my life when I become obsessed with doing whatever it takes to accomplish a goal. Dieting is the first thing that comes to mind. This is a judgment-free zone, right? Well, losing weight has always been a challenge for me. I love certain types of food, and you have already guessed my passion for sweets wins over fruit and vegetables. I’m pretty sure I can say that this is an inherited trait. My dad yo-yoed on the scale as well – most likely for the same reasons. But, when I decide it’s time to drop the unnecessary weight, I’m all in and don’t stop until I can proudly jump into skinny jeans. Dieting. Never easy, never loved it but a necessary evil. Sticktoitiveness would get me where I was going.

Last weekend, a day after a good rain, Dave decided to build a fire under a twinkling sky of stars and a glowing moon. Damp enough to hinder a fire, he struggled to get the wood and kindling to take off. After 15 minutes, I remarked, “Just give it up and we can enjoy our fireless campfire and let the moon light our night.” He looked at me and said nothing, but his knit eyebrows implied, “Are you kidding”? Five minutes later, the fire was worthy of s’mores and pudgy pies. He had a good case of “sticktoitiveness.”

Dave seems to be in a situation that demands that same attitude. He is still struggling to eat, and the sores in his mouth and down his throat still determine good days or bad days. Over the weekend, he finally ate some solid food, and I did the happy dance I do when the scale tips the right way for me. It took him forever, like a kid who wasn’t allowed to leave the table until he ate all of his brussel sprouts. His head was in his hands and he just kept taking big breaths. Only three more bites…two more bites…last bite and then you can leave the table. But he stuck to it because he knows he has to. It wasn’t easy, didn’t love it but necessary for survival.

Later that night, still hungry but avoiding the need to swallow, I offered Dave a late night shake. Unfortunately, that novelty has worn off and he’s back to admitting everything sounds good and nothing tastes good. He declined the cold, smooth shake. Inevitably, the scale was not kind to him yesterday when he visited Karmanos for his labs and evaluation with Dr. Uberti. Where I would be doing the happy dance if I lost 12 pounds in 14 days, we both just grimaced. Ughhhh. How I wish I could drink a shake for him if he would just accept the calories for me.

Dave has never been a quitter and never will be. His sticktoitiveness keeps pushing him forward to the days ahead where he will be able to eat anything he wants. We know that day is just around the corner – but dang – this has been a long block to walk.

If you’ve heard this expression before, you will know this to be true. A way to a man’s heart is by making him – tapioca pudding. Well, the saying really says “through his stomach,” but on these days, that saying does not apply to Dave.

Our life right now is all about soft foods, like tapioca pudding. Most of you know that Dave chooses extremely healthy foods. He opts for a fresh piece of fruit or vegetables over most any sweet delectable. I, on the other hand, insist that chocolate comes from a plant.

“Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad.”

I imagine chocolate could be mixed in with tapioca pudding, but I actually haven’t tried that yet. Instead, I make this dessert just the way he likes it. Now if you’ve ever made this pudding, you know it takes forever. The fluffy recipe calls for whipped egg whites that seem to take longer to make than my bed – times 10. As the egg white mixture stands with pointy peaks, I bring the remaining ingredients to a rolling boil, stirring the entire time. Just when I think it is almost boiling, I realize it’s only halfway done. Last week I made it, and I watched a full episode of “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.” I just stood there stirring and laughing because the show is pretty funny.

What’s not as humorous is how long Dave has been eating soft foods. We are going on almost four weeks now that the mucositis still effects his mouth, ears, throat and esophagus. Healing has been a very slow process, seemingly taking forever – much like making tapioca pudding. Just when we think we detect healing in his mouth, new sores emerge.

There is wisdom in purchasing tapioca pudding from the grocery store. It is so much quicker, but it is not quite as delicious as homemade. Likewise, I’m sure mucositis will heal in good time. Dave’s appetite will return, and he will eat everything in sight. Until then, we pray with all of our heart that He is cooking up something special for all of us. Complete healing.

… and that’s the right way. In the wake of Antonio Brown being dismissed from the Oakland Raiders’ football team, I was inspired. We often see displays of unsportsmanlike conduct in sports. For some players, they may think that they are bigger than the game. Others are disrespectful to teammates and coaches. In some cases, there are a few who simply don’t honor the game.

Dave modeled his expectations in order to honor baseball, which he figures to be the greatest game on earth. One example comes to mind of Dave creating a positive atmosphere and respecting the game. It was a rule he still requires to this day. There’s only one way for coaches and players to wear a hat, and that’s the right way. The team logo should be in the front. Bills straight ahead.

A few years ago, Dave was sitting at a stop light listening to his favorite country music station. His windows were down and he was soaking in the beautiful sunny day. A car pulled up alongside Dave and the music was bumping, probably vibrating the white stripes separating the lanes. As anyone would do, Dave looked over to see who was making the racket. It was one of his former baseball players wearing his hat backward. JB looked over to see it was his coach from the 90s, and he smiled. He quickly reached behind his head, tugged the bill of his cap, and turned his hat around – the right way. Each man smiled, waved and continued on his way. Dave made an impact on JB back in the 90s, and it still resonates today.

We all have choices along our way. We can choose to do things the right way and be role models for all generations, young and old. Being a person of character, integrity, honesty and honor are important. Having high expectations, being motivational, and being inspirational are significant too.

It seemed fitting to make this connection to the Raiders’ decision to part ways with Brown. That was inspirational. That organization has chosen to choose integrity, honor and respect. They are taking sides and have chosen to send a message that one player is not bigger than any team. Showing respect, not only for the game but for others, is monumental. This is a message for all of us to absorb.

There is only one way, and that’s the right way.

We’re pretty good at following doctor’s orders by now.

Doctors have always been crystal clear about staying physically active. The only way out of the hospital is to “walk yourself out.” So we walked – a lot. They have constantly questioned if Dave was eating enough and drinking enough water. His intake and output was measured and documented. So he ate soft, liquidy foods even when he wasn’t hungry. He drank water – as much as he could stomach. And even when his throat felt like a coral reef and the roof of his mouth looked like moon craters, he needed to be able to swallow all medications before being discharged. So he winced his eyes, curled his toes and swallowed them one by one – over 25 pills in a day. It wasn’t easy to be Dave the last few weeks, and it wasn’t easy to watch him be the determined man we all know him to be.

Goal driven to an extreme, Dave’s barometer was to be discharged from the hospital the same number of days as his first bone marrow transplant. He was out in 21 days last October. He made it home in time to take our grandkids trick-or-treating.

I, on the other hand, was cautiously warning him not to set his sights so high in order to avoid disappointment. Even Dr. Uberti warned that this would be tougher and would take longer. Denise, his nurse practitioner, dramatically warned it would be “rrrrrroufffffffer!” As you can imagine, Dave was not in the least bit intimidated by anyone’s predictions. His goal remained to be in and out in 21 days.

We are required to stay close to Karmanos, so even the slightest change in his health is addressed immediately. Once assured that we were staying just blocks away from the hospital, Dr. Uberti agreed it was time to discharge Dave. On Wednesday, the 21st day, he not only walked out of the hospital on his own, he walked up three flights of stairs to the apartment we are renting.

Dr. Uberti also gave us one last directive before being discharged. He told us that we are allowed to go back home for the weekend. So, we are going to relax, enjoy the lake and report back to the clinic on Monday. Doctor’s orders! We are more than happy to oblige. Because, we’re pretty good at following doctor’s orders.

Labor Day is a United States public holiday, which is always celebrated on the first Monday in September. Essential for the workings of society, it honors the American labor movement and the power of collective action by laborers. This year is the 125th anniversary, as we celebrate those who have contributed to the strength, prosperity and well-being of our country. Typically, it is a day of rest and relaxation.

For most. But this weekend, God was at work, as always, healing as He promises to do. Your abundant prayers for strength, courage and mercy have been heard. As a collaborative and collective action of prayer warriors, you were essential in the workings of Dave’s progress. We never doubted things would turn around. And they have.

Dave has turned the corner and is making progress. His white blood count spiked, allowing his body to begin the healing process. The mucositis is slowly dissipating, and the expected bone and joint pain is overshadowing his previous side effects. As difficult as it may be to hear that his pain continues, this aching points toward engraftment and eventual recovery.

We are definitely celebrating on this first Monday in September. It not only honors those who labor, but honors those who have found it a labor of love to faithfully pray.